How to Find Ambitious Goals

Stephen Thinking About Big Goals

I am going to tell you how I find my misogi. 

Misogi (miss-oh-gee) is one of those Japanese concepts that means something almost entirely different, but still useful, when it is translated in the West.

Originally it refers to a Shinto ritual of purification with water. Imagine people praying under waterfalls and you have a good idea.

But in the West it has come to mean something more like a grand challenge. It is the idea that you set yourself a goal once a year to do something really hard, both mentally and physically. I have a friend who has done some serious Alpine climbing as his misogi -- the photos are extraordinary.

I wouldn't say that I do this as an annual thing, but I do like a big goal from time to time. Usually to signal to myself that I am in a new phase of personal growth. In the last few years I have challenged myself to race cycling time-trials, walked the South Downs way, deadlifted 100kg and run 50-miles.

These things are hard if you're not already trained for them. And so, in the training and the events you learn a lot about yourself, which is really the point. 

My wife has told me she thinks I don't recognize enough the achievement of running 50 miles (at the age of 49). The truth is, I never forget becoming the person who learned to do that. I don't need anyone else to remember it at all.

And that's a really good sign for this sort of thing. It is probably, in some sense, a physical journey, but really it is an inner journey.

So, how do you set yourself one of these goals?

Did you notice the title of this section used the word find not set? This is a crucial understanding.

If you set one of these goals because it looks cool, a friend did it or you think you should do something like that, you are doing it wrong. And also making it less likely you will succeed.

You see, if you set yourself a challenge that is sufficiently hard, at some points it is going to be really tough! And so, when your body wants you to quit, you want your heart to be pulling you forward. You want to have an inner desire to complete your misogi.

The better way to find a challenge is to listen for it. In the HeRO Program we talk about hearing the whisper. That's the voice inside that says, "what about this...?"

Usually, at first you can only barely hear it. But if you give it attention and, over a few days, it gets louder and louder .... well, now you've found what you want to do. You simply can't ignore it and you have to go ahead.

Which means the best way to find a big goal isn't to look for it at all. It is to spend time in silence, or in nature, or with your journal, just listening to yourself. Because, when you hear that voice, your call to adventure is real.

Quick piece of advice about this. If you hear the voice and start planning, don't tell anyone for a while. Nurture it in yourself. Make some plans. Do a little training. Try it on for size. Only once you are sure you are on the right path should you tell someone.

But only if you want to. After all, a misogi is really for you. Nobody else.

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