Here's one short leadership coaching tip you can action immediately. Today's post takes about 2 minutes to read. This is about a powerful form of leadership reflection.
This is one of the most powerful coaching questions I've found.
It is a really simple question. One that can apply in all manner of professional and personal circumstances.
Well, it is simple to ask, not always easy to answer. And so, it is best to prepare yourself to answer it.
To do that, think of an issue at work that is causing you resentment, or making you feel negative emotions.
Got that in mind?
Right, the question is:
Who do you need to forgive?
Whoa! Didn't see that coming did you? I'd like you to try it though.
Give yourself a moment to see who comes to mind. Who have you got a problem with? Then, think about what you want to forgive them for.
Then, in your mind, say I forgive you.
It is a remarkably freeing thing to do 🙏
How it Works
We often don't realise how resentments creep up on us at work. How a careless word from a manager can make us feel bad.
We then hold onto those feelings, perhaps we withdraw a little enthusiasm. Or we behave poorly, leading to more difficulties.
But you know what, the only person who suffers in this situation is you.
While you are churning things up inside, getting more and more tense, they are not thinking about you.
They are doing other things.
So, by letting it go, deliberately, you can return to a better state of mind.
One that will serve you, rather than hurting you.
Then you can start to thrive!
If You Are Coaching Someone
When I am coaching clients this can be a transformative question to ask.
It is particularly powerful when discussing the client's sense of self. Often people see themselves (in part) as a reflection of the things that have happened to them.
For example, they didn't get the credit they expected for a piece of work. They feel their manager let them down (perhaps they did). And so the negative feelings associated with that come to dominate their outlook on work.
All their manager (and coworkers) see, is surliness. They don't see the inner dialog.
So, by forgiving the manager, the client can move on. Their performance improves and their chances of advancement improves too.
One last thing. This is pro-level self coaching...
When asking, "who do I need to forgive?", the answer might be "me".